


Muted and Misty

by gingersnapper



Series: Our Anthem Universe [3]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: District Thirteen, F/M, Our Anthem Universe, Songfic, Thirteen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25672291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingersnapper/pseuds/gingersnapper
Summary: A continuation of a small scene from Katniss’s flashback in Chapter 23 of ‘Our Anthem’ titled ‘The Promise’. Peeta asks Katniss why she loves him and she can’t give him an answer, so she looks to some friends for help. Set shortly after their arrival in District Thirteen.Set in the ‘Our Anthem’ universe in which Katniss is a refugee from Hebridia (formerly Scotland) and the rebellion has been going on for three years after the Quarter Quell.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Series: Our Anthem Universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1848961
Kudos: 4





	Muted and Misty

**Author's Note:**

> ‘I Don’t Know Where I Stand’ — Fairport Convention

“We need to talk about this... about us.” My stomach dropped when I heard Peeta utter those words. Why did he want to talk about us? I told him I loved him several times - those were the words he wanted to hear. Yet somehow, it wasn’t enough. I knew it was too good to be true. We were in District Thirteen inside of the room that he would share with Finnick, but Finnick would never occupy it. I had told him I loved him in the arena, I begged and called for him in my delirium aboard the hovercraft that rescued us and I confessed my love for him again in the rain just outside the doors of Thirteen, but I had also pushed him away again. I was confused and scared. I’d just learned that two of my brothers and my father had survived the attack that I thought had killed my entire family, and then learned that I still missed my father when he died a few years before from a Pox outbreak. My mind was in shambles when I learned that District Twelve had been bombed, and my heart shattered when I learned that Peeta’s family was killed. I didn’t know how to cope, so my mind shut down and went back to the only normal that my mind had known since I was a child: the time before the Games, when Gale and I would hunt for hours in the woods. I knew Peeta was jealous of Gale, and throwing that at him in my delirium was cold-hearted of me. My eyes found his face as he spoke again. “How long have you loved me?” I shrugged, not truly knowing the answer.

“Longer than I’ve known,” I replied honestly. “I stopped lying to myself in the Capitol, before the Quell. I knew I had feelings for you, but I kept suppressing them.”

“ _ Why _ do you love me?”

“Peeta...” Great. He wanted me to make a speech.

“Katniss, I just want you to understand why I’m questioning you about this. Do you know why?” I did. Most of my love for him had been fake, for the cameras only and only sometimes did I kiss him for real in between, but he never knew that those kisses were real. I nodded in response to his question. “I’ll ask again. Why do you love me?”

“Because love is weird,” I replied, mimicking Johanna’s words in the arena, and he raised an eyebrow. “I’m not good with words, you know this.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to get over that because I need to hear your reasons. Most of the love you’ve shown me hasn’t been real. I want to know why  _ this _ is real, why this is different from everything else.” I nodded again.

“Very well, but prepare for a very long night because I’ve got to formulate my words.”

“You don’t have to tell me tonight. You can take some time to think about it, as long as you need, but until then, I don’t think we should see each other.” My eyes shot up to his face, widening with shock. Did he really say that? Was this... was this a break up? The types of things that girls at school always cried over?

“Why?” I asked him suddenly, surprising myself. “Why can’t I see you?”

“Because I don’t want to get my hopes up thinking that this is real when it actually isn’t. Take some time and think about it. And think about...” He let out a sigh. “Think about Gale, too, while you’re at it.”

“Gale isn’t a factor in this.”

“You sure about that?”

“Positive. There’s nothing between us. The fact that you would even think that is insulting. How dare you assume something about me that you know nothing about?”

“You’re getting awful upset about ‘nothing’.” In that moment, I wanted to slap him so hard, his eyes rattled around in his head. I wanted to throttle him for being so blind and stupid to think that I wanted Gale over him, but perhaps I was being emotional. The man I loved was telling me he didn’t want to see me anymore, and though I know now that there was much more to it and that I could have put a stop to that sooner, at the time, I was blinded by the hurt he was inflicting on me. “Katniss,” he sighed. “Don’t think too hard about this, and don’t beat yourself up. If you really do love me, you shouldn’t have any problem with what I’m asking you to do. You should go back to your room and get some rest. I think you’re too tired right now, and that’s why it seems so difficult.” He always tried to make excuses.

“You know I don’t sleep well without you.”

“I’m sorry, but I need answers, Katniss.” I let out a sigh and stood from his bed, crossing to the door that led back out into the corridor. I turned to look at him one final time, wanting to say something but not knowing what. At the moment, the words ‘I love you’ had no meaning to him. When I felt the sting of a tear in my eye, I opened the door and left, my heart shattering into what felt like hundreds of pieces.

Prim knew something was wrong immediately. She crawled into bed with me and hugged me while I silently cried into her shoulder. “What’s the matter?” she whispered to me.

“I’m such an idiot,” I said to her. “Such a stupid, stupid idiot! How could I have not known?”

“Known what, Katniss?” Prim asked me in a soothing tone.

“Peeta, he... he asked me to tell him why I... I love him... and I feel terrible because I couldn’t tell him and now he doesn’t want to see me!”

“Why couldn’t you tell him you love him?”

“I don’t know... I don’t know, Prim... I don’t even know if  _ I _ know why!”

“Well, then you have to think about it and then you can tell him and then you two can be happy again. I always knew you had feelings for him, you know, even when you didn’t know it.” I couldn’t help but chuckle gently.

“Go to sleep, Little Duck... I’ll think about it tomorrow,” I told her. She drifted off to sleep, but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about Peeta and what he said. I thought about what he was doing. I hoped he wasn’t hurt by my silence. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him any more than I already have. I thought back to his questions. He’d asked me how long I loved him and why I loved him. He could pinpoint the moment where he fell in love with me, and probably wanted to know if I could pinpoint the moment that I fell in love with him. I didn’t know if I could. He snuck up on me, really. I thought maybe the night of the interview, but it couldn’t have been then. That was when I admitted to myself that I loved him, but not when I fell in love with him. Perhaps it was on the Victory Tour, when he held me in his arms at night and sacrificed his comfort for mine. No, it couldn’t be. Maybe before that - the cave? When he was dying and I kissed him for the very first time? When I knew that I would be willing to sacrifice myself if it meant getting him home safe? By that point, I knew that I wanted him to live, but did that mean that I loved him? I thought back even further, to when were children. We were so young, and I was fresh off the boat from Hebridia. I didn’t know anything about Panem, including it’s language, and yet, Peeta was so kind to me. He didn’t even know me and all of his friends picked on me and made fun of me, but he always defended me, always helped me up when I was shoved down into mud puddles.

_ “I don’t know why they’re so mean to you. You’re not any different from them. Just hungrier, maybe, and you sound different from them,” _ I remember him saying once to me when we were nine and he’d helped me out of a mud puddle. The first time he did that, he gave me his jacket and the next day, had bruises on his skin, and when he helped me again, he offered his jacket. I recall shaking my head.

_ “No, I am okay,” _ I’d told him, but he smiled and continued to hold it out to me.

_ “Katniss, it’s cold. Take it. Please,” _ he said, and when I still didn’t take the bait, he took it upon himself to wrap the jacket around my shoulders and button it up for me.  _ “I have other jackets. I don’t mind being cold for the short walk to my house. Yours is so much farther away...” _ The school was closer to the town square, where the merchants lived, than to the Seam, so he was right. I could only nod.

_ “Thank you,” _ I told him. The next day, he had bruises on his face again and I wanted to yell at him for allowing that to happen again, but I couldn’t will myself to do it. All Peeta had wanted to do was help me, even at the cost of a beating. Perhaps that was the moment that I fell for him, because after that, I could never look at him the same. I always wondered who that boy was and why he took beatings to help me. Perhaps it was unconscious love, and that love made me avoid him to spare him more beatings. I didn’t know who was beating him until later, when I started hunting and had the misfortune of meeting his witch of a mother.

The following day in the cafeteria at lunch, I was conversing with my two brothers, Calum and Cailean, in our native language of Gàidhlig. It made me so happy to see them again, each of them a mirror image of the other, with the same brown curls that I possessed and each with one blue eye and one brown. Cailean sat on my right while Calum sat on my left.

“There’s a lot of us here. Refugees, that is,” Calum was saying. “There were a few other children on that boat with us. Hadley Walker was one, you met her yesterday. Used to be Hadley MacDearg but her mother remarried and changed her last name. Her dad was a right foul git, he was.”

“You remember Ribinnean Muirreach? You and her were best friends growing up. She’s here, too,” said Cailean. “A brilliant singer. She sings at any and all celebrations. Old Gàidhlig songs from home.” I did remember Ribinnean, but only barely. She and I used to play together when my mother and Ribinnean’s mother wanted their daughters to play among girls. I wouldn’t say we were  _ best _ friends, but we were definitely close.

“That’s wonderful,” I replied, barely picking at my food, if one could even call the slop in front of me that.

“You all right, Kat?” asked Cailean. He was always in tune to others’ emotions, while Calum was a bit more aloof in that department. I simply nodded.

“I’ll be fine,” I told him.

“Where’s that guy that you came here with? What was his name? Peter?” Calum asked me.

“Peeta,” I replied. “He’s...” I let out a sigh.

“Uh oh, boy trouble,” said Cailean.

“Do we have to kick his ass?” asked Calum.

“No... it’s my fault, really,” I told my brothers.

“Well, we can’t kick your ass. What happened?” asked Cailean, putting a supportive hand on my back.

“I’m sure you’ve heard of the whole ‘star-crossed lovers’ thing...” I began.

“Yup,” they both replied simultaneously.

“Well, it wasn’t real... not in the beginning. At least, I didn’t think it was for me. It was for him though, and apparently had been since we were eight. We did it to stay alive, and then as more time passed and we were forced to be in public together holding hands and kissing, I realised that I really did have feelings for him. When we were in the arena, I was prepared to die for him and when I thought I only had days to live, I told him that I loved him, and now...” I let out a sigh. “He doesn’t believe me, and I don’t blame him one bit.”

“What exactly did he say?” asked Calum.

“Did he specifically say that he doesn’t believe you?” asked Cailean, and I shook my head.

“He asked me why I loved him, and I couldn’t come up with an answer,” I told them.

“Do you know for a fact that you love him?” asked Cailean.

“Yes, I do,” I replied.

“And you know why you love him?” asked Calum.

“Yes... I mean, no... I don’t know... I just know that I love him,” I replied.

“If you love him, Kat, then why is it so hard to tell him why you love him? Think about it, you fell for him for a reason. Figure out what that reason is and then just tell him. It shouldn’t be this difficult if you really, truly love him,” Cailean told me.

“No... No, it shouldn’t be...” I agreed. I felt Cailean’s hand on my upper back again.

“Come by the lab sometime, I’d like to show you something. When you’re ready. It has to do with Dad,” he told me. Perhaps I would go to the lab, if I could clear my thoughts. Maybe seeing something relating to my father would help clear my head. Later, I told myself. For now, I wanted to see Gale and see what he had to say.

“Hey, Catnip,” he’d said when he saw me approaching, and I smiled sadly at him.

“Hey,” I replied, and he frowned.

“What’s with the frown? You’re free now, no more ‘star-crossed lovers’ bullshit. Aren’t you happy? You finally get to make your own choice,” Gale told me, approaching me and standing a little bit too close for comfort. I felt his hands touch my elbows and I tried to take a step back. Evidently, he thought that he was my choice before I’d even voiced anything.

“I have made my choice,” I told him. “Look, I just need advice, okay?”

“Is it about  _ him _ ?” he asked, as if the word had a bad taste. Suddenly, I realised how talking to Gale about Peeta was a bad idea.

“You know what? Nevermind, I think I’ll just... go and see my brother in the lab,” I said, pulling myself from his arms.

“But Katniss...” he began, but I just shook my head.

“Look, Gale, you’re my best friend and all, but if that’s how you’re going to react when I come to you for advice, then I don’t want to hear it,” I told him.

“Just your best friend?”

“Just my best friend.” He looked down at the floor between us for a moment, and then back up at me.

“We’ve been through so much together. Hunting for our families, starving in the Seam, all while  _ he _ always had a full belly.”

“Of stale old bread, sure. Peeta and I have been through a lot together, too. Two arenas, a Victory Tour, and now whatever this is.”

“That’s only all within the last year. We go back much farther than that, you and me.”

“Why’s that make a difference?” He looked at me for a moment with no words. “Peeta and I go back even farther... He was... He was the first person who was ever kind to me, when I came here from Hebridia. He was the only person who wasn’t Hebridean that didn’t judge me before he knew me. He was kind, even when he didn’t have to be, and even when he shouldn’t have been... You threatened to shoot me upon our first meeting.”

“Do you love him?” Gale asked me.

“Yes,” I said with confidence. “I’ll see you later, Gale.” With that said, I left him there while I sought out the lab, and it took me a good hour or so to find it, and inside was Cailean. The doors slid open and I stepped in, being surprised by the sound of music playing from the table.

_...braiding white flowers and leaves in my hair... _

_ Picked up a pencil and wrote ‘I love you’ in my finest hand _

_ Wanted to send it, but I don’t know where I stand _

_ Telephone, even the sound of your voice is still new... _

_ All alone in Carolina and talking to you _

_ And feeling too foolish and strange to say _

_ The words that I had planned... _

_ Guess it’s too early ‘cause I don’t know where I stand... _

I paused as I listened to the words of the song. Did Cailean put this song on specifically for me? Or was it just an odd coincidence? It was true - I didn’t know where I stood. I knew that I loved Peeta, but if I loved him, why was it so hard to tell him why?

_ Crickets talk, courting their ladies in star-dappled green _

_ Crickets talk until the morning comes up like a dream _

_ All muted and misty, so drowsy now, I’ll take what sleep I can _

_ I know that I miss you, but I don’t know where I stand... _

_ Know that I miss you, but I don’t know where I stand... _

“Hey,” Cailean said, interrupting my thoughts as the song faded out, and he turned the volume down. “Didn’t expect you to come so early.”

“What is that?” I asked him, referring to the small rectangular device in his hand.

“Something called an iPod, I found it on a mission. Nothing on it but music, so I like to listen to it when I’m working,” he replied.

“President Coin lets you keep it?”

“Not at first, but when I told her it helps me concentrate better, she let me keep it, but only in the lab. President Coin is, dare I say, rather fond of me.” He smiled at me and I returned it, and he gestured for me to sit in the empty seat next to him, in which I sat down. He slid a notebook across the table in front of me. “This was Dad’s notebook. He used this when trying to figure out vaccines for viruses and other medical advances. He was an absolute genius, Dad, and word on the street from a Miss Delly Cartwright says that you are, too.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m a genius, per say,” I replied, taking the notebook and picking it up in my hands.

“She said you knew your way around a chemistry lab real well, and physics. And she said you were a district midwife.” I nodded as I admired my father’s handwriting on the front cover of the notebook. It had his name - Dòmhnall Fòlais - and the Gàidhlig word for ‘notes’, which was  _ ‘nòtaichean’ _ underneath his name on the front cover. “There’s a letter inside, taped to the back cover. I didn’t open it, I swear, but it’s addressed to you.” I flipped open the notebook first to finger through the notes, seeing topics such as ‘Pox Vaccine’ ‘Possible Cure For Hijacking’ and ‘Quick Stitches In Battle’ before I flipped to the back of the notebook. Indeed, taped to the inside cover, was a folded piece of paper that bore my name in my father’s handwriting. I pulled it off, almost afraid to open it, but wanting so badly to see the final words that my father had to say to me. I unfolded the paper, then saw my father’s small handwriting covering the page in our native Gàidhlig.

_ Katniss, _

_ My darling hen, I know you’re out there somewhere. I just have a feeling that you’re still there, even though I can’t see you. I do hope that someday, your brothers may find you. My days, I’m afraid, are numbered, starting from the moment I was diagnosed with the Pox, but I’m not going to waste time talking about that. _

_ I hope that someday soon, this letter will find you, hen. I want you to know how I love you and how proud I am of you. Yes I know that I don’t know what it is that I’m proud of, but you’re my girl, and I know whatever it is, I’d be proud of it. I’m guessing that this letter will be found by you years later, and maybe you have a husband and children - or a wife, whatever makes you happy, my girl - and I hope he loves you unconditionally. If not, then I hope you someday find someone who will make you as happy as your mother made me. I’ll see her soon, and when I do, know that we’ll be doing all we can to keep you safe. _

_ Every year, we watch the Reaping of the Hunger Games and I look in all of the districts wondering if I’ll see your face. I know we were destined for District Twelve, but I have no idea if that was where they sent you. Sometimes, I wonder if I do catch your gaze, but I can never get close enough to the screen to find out. I’m sorry I brought us to a place that willingly kills the children of its people. If I had known, we would have taken our chances in Hebridia. Maybe then, your brothers, sister and mother would still be alive today. _

_ But nevermind the past, hen. What’s happened cannot be changed. Don’t mourn for me, nor your brothers and sister or your mother. Carry us in your memories, and that is where we will always be. Life is too short to be unhappy. I hope that you seize every opportunity for happiness that crosses your path. I know you are reminded every year of how short life can be by that dreadful murderous Capitol. My girl, my hen, my Katniss, wherever you are, know that you are loved. By myself and Mum, and Dòmh and Ashilda, Cailean and Calum and even Alasdair and Anndra. I hope there are others, too, that you have welcomed into your heart. _

_ I love you, hen. _

_ Dad _

_ P.S. - ask your brothers for your mother’s dress, they keep it in the room. _

I felt tears welling up in my eyes from this very personal and loving final message from my father. He knew I was alive, and he knew that somewhere out there, I was living, even if it wasn’t free. He never gave up hope that I had survived. I suppose when District Thirteen rescued the majority of the survivors from the water, the bodies of all my brothers, sister and mother had been found but not mine. “Is he buried?” I felt myself asking my brother through tears.

“People here are cremated and their urns are placed on shelves in our version of a cemetery. He’s down there, and so is Mum, and Dòmh, and Ashilda, and the twins.”

“I want to visit them, soon. But not right now. Right now, I have something that I need to do.” It was dinner time now, but I wasn’t hungry. I went straight to my compartment and started writing out everything that I wanted to say to Peeta. First, I started writing a list.

_ Why I love Peeta _

_ Kind _

_ Handsome _

_ Charming _

_ Nice to me when I don’t deserve it _

_ First person to me who was kind _

_ Strong _

_ He’s Peeta _

_ Loves me even though he shouldn’t _

_ Didn’t care if the bitch beat him when he was kind to me _

_ Loves Prim _

_ Protects me _

_ Warm _

Once I had my list, I started to draft out the words that I wanted to use. I stayed up all night writing it, falling asleep briefly at my desk and awaking with a start from a horrific nightmare involving Peeta and being captured by the Capitol, before I finally had a paper that I actually liked. I spent several more hours practicing it to myself in the room, making sure that everything was perfect. I made some more changes, scrapped other things and rewrote it one final time, then read it to my reflection in the mirror. When I was finally satisfied, I gathered my courage and made my way to Peeta’s compartment, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes for a moment, recalling my father’s words.  _ Life is too short to be unhappy. _ He couldn’t be more correct. Swallowing the nervous knot in my stomach, I raised my hand and knocked on his door. It took a moment for him to answer it and when he did, he glanced at the papers in my hands and the nervous glint in my eye, raising an eyebrow. He looked so handsome standing there before me, and perhaps all those girls at school were right when they called him ‘cute’.

“I... I need to talk to you,” I said, and he nodded gently and let me inside. I feared that my courage would leave me the moment I stepped into Peeta’s compartment, but strangely enough, I felt very brave. “Have a seat,” I said, gesturing to his bed, and he wordlessly sat down as I stood before him, shuffling my papers. I swallowed my nerves and looked up at him, meeting his gorgeous blue eyes - they made me want to melt, but I had to remain solid if I wanted him to take me seriously. The desperate, heartbroken crying teenage girl wasn’t going to work on him. “You asked me why I loved you... Why this was real and how it was different from the other times...” I looked at my papers and became lost for words, then sighed and dropped them to the ground. I was never any good at reading the cards - I was better in the moment. “I love you because you’ve always been kind to me, even when I didn’t deserve it. When we were young, you were the only person who was kind to me. Everyone else saw me as different because of where I came from, but you didn’t. No one could talk to me, not even you, but you found a way to communicate with me. I pushed you away because one day, I saw you had been beaten probably for how you treated me and I couldn’t live with that, but you didn’t give up, only stepped away to give me my space. And I love you because you respect my boundaries, even if they hurt you. I love you because you’re my sun and you keep me safe not only from the real world, but from my nightmares. You keep me safe from others and myself as well. I love you because you annoy me with constantly wanting to protect me, especially when I think I don’t need it. There’s no one else in the world who will go to the lengths that you do to protect me which means there’s no one that cares for me like you do, Peeta.” I paused for a moment, trying to read his facial expressions, but they were neutral. I was always easy to read, but he never was, and of course he was going to remain stoic. Now wasn’t the time for emotions. “I love you for your kind heart. Even when it’s not me that you’re being kind to. You’re so kind to everyone and you always want to help everyone, even when it inconveniences you. You have a love for life that I wish I had. You’re kind to so many people who don’t deserve it. You’d never be any other way... I love you because you didn’t let the Games break you, but I did, and you easily could have allowed them to break you, but you didn’t. You were strong for me even when you probably barely had any strength left for yourself... Don’t think I didn’t know that you didn’t have nightmares, too.” I smiled as I got to the next part. “I love your appearance as well. You have no idea how incredibly handsome you are. I’ve always been attracted to you physically, and it took way too long for me to be attracted to you emotionally. I only wish that I could have told you sooner... maybe then you’d believe me.”

“I do believe you,” he said without missing a beat, looking up into my face. I hadn’t realised that I had tears leaking from my eyes and I quickly wiped them away with my sleeve, but he only smiled and held his arms out to me. “Come here.” It was my turn to smile and I collapsed into his arms, holding him tightly and kissing his face over and over and freely sobbed into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry for everything, I never wanted to hurt you. I love you so much, Peeta,” I cried, and he gently rubbed my back.

“It’s okay, Katniss. I love you, too,” he whispered to me, and he took my face in his hands and kissed me in what was our first kiss as romantic partners.

“Hope you’re prepared for a roommate because I am never, ever sleeping away from you again, if I can avoid it,” I told him, and he let out a chuckle before kissing me again.

“I think I can live with that,” he replied. After one more passionate kiss, I pulled back and took a look at his face - he had dark shadows under his eyes.

“You haven’t slept...”

“Neither have you.” I shook my head as I brushed a golden curl from his eyes, and he pressed his forehead to mine. “Do you know when you knew?”

“Knew what? That I loved you?” He nodded. “I thought about it... I realised that I must have known even earlier that I had thought, but didn’t really know what love was at the time, because I was nine years old and all I knew was the death of my family and the meanness of the kids at school. It was the second time I was pushed into a puddle by Merx Mueller. You helped me up and put your jacket on me and told me that you didn’t see me as any different from yourself, and the next day, you were all battered up from that bitch of a mother of yours - excuse me, I didn’t mean to say that. I meant to say witch - and I knew then that I cared enough about you that I didn’t want you to get hurt, so I... I pushed you away. If I didn’t talk to you, or if you didn’t talk to me, you couldn’t get hurt.”

“You weren’t the only reason she beat me... There were other reasons, too. She was just a cruel woman.” He pressed his forehead against mine again. “What about Gale?”

“What about him? He’s no place here. He’s one of my closest friends, yes, and while I do indeed love him, I love him in the way that I love my brothers. He was never competition. It was always going to be you, no matter what happened. You’re the man I love, Peeta Mellark.” He smiled again and pressed his lips against mine, then playfully pushed me back onto the bed and hovered over me, straddling my hips with his legs on either side of me.

“I love you, too, Katniss Everdeen...” he whispered.

“Fòlais,” I corrected him. “I want to go by Fòlais now... It’s my real name.”

“I love you, Katniss  _ Fòlais. _ ” I giggled warmly as he kissed my face and trailed his kisses down to my neck, groaning with each of his kisses. It was quite sexy, actually, and I could start to feel a warmth at my core with each kiss, each groan and, soon, the feeling of his hardened manhood through his District Thirteen jumpsuit rubbing against my core. I could feel myself grinding against him seeking relief from the heat at my core and he pulled back, pressing a hand to my chest to stop me. “Katniss, I think we should... slow down, just a little bit.”

“I completely agree. I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened,” I replied quickly, horribly embarrassed at my body’s reaction.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay,” he shushed me. “Believe me, if I could control my reactions, I would.” He pressed a kiss to my temple and I smiled at him, feeling a blush creeping onto my cheeks.

“Peeta... When I spoke to Gale yesterday, he reminded me of something that he hoped would go in his favour, but obviously didn’t...” I could see Peeta’s face tense up just a bit at the mention of Gale. “He said we’re free to choose now... We don’t have to have a rushed relationship like the Capitol wanted. We can let things progress naturally now. I want things to progress naturally between us.” I placed a hand over his heart, feeling it beat underneath my hand, before meeting his eyes. “But I’m still moving into this compartment so you’d better get used to sharing your bed.” He smiled and chuckled, then brought his lips down to mine.

“Deal,” he told me. We settled into bed, even though it was early, with Peeta’s arms wrapped tightly around me. “Say it again,” he whispered to me.

“I love you, Peeta Mellark,” I told him, snuggling into his chest and pressing my ear to his heart.

“I love you, Katniss...” he whispered back. We both fell into a dreamless sleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms. We were finally free to love each other as we ought to, and not forced to parade our love in front of a camera. At least, not for now.


End file.
